Set Free  Issue No.13          by Martin Tuson


THE TRUTH OF THE GOSPEL
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free"

Hello my name is "friend". I write this letter and testimony to all my Brothers and Sisters who share with me the love and grace that our Father has given us, through his precious Son, our Lord and Saviour. This letter is to guide you "Saints", and direct you who are not, by showing you of the love and grace that was bestowed upon me. Through His blood I will continue. "Father for your glory I pray these words bring strength, blessing and salvation to all who read them."

I was brought up in a Catholic family with all the traditions; first confession, first communion and confirmation. As a child, taking my first confession had no effect on me. I went into the confessional, told the priest what I had done wrong, and he told me to say three "Hail Marys". I left the confessional and I said them. I had no true remorse inside me for the things which I believed to be wrong, and after saying my penance I felt just the same - as if I had never gone into the confessional in the first place.

My first communion was much the same experience. Eager to taste the Lord Jesus as a child, I believed with part of him inside me, then I would change into an Angel with big white wings, or something of that nature. I am thankful of being scared of heights. As I started to get older my prayers to God became less frequent and I was really questioning God's existence. I was 11 yrs old when I went to make my confirmation. The stories that flew around our classroom and school yard about this event had me excited. The priest was going to call the Holy Ghost down and he would enter us. Parents, teachers, aunts and uncles all testified to this - I could not wait. The big day arrived - I was loving it. I went to the Bishop, he said a few words, and I gave a promise and bang, next please! Bewildered, I now stared at the guy who had stood behind me and I remember saying, I've missed something here, maybe I forgot to say "Amen" and the Spirit skipped me. The next thing family and friends were cheering and hugging me, and I was more confused. I forgot about God after that.

My family life was not great, I watched my father beat my mum and my mum nag him to provoke the reaction in the first place, and I watched this for 17 years. I could not handle this; my escape was in drugs, drinks and solvents. I stole to feed my habits; I did not care who I hurt in the process. I eventually blew one night, I erupted like a volcano and I took another person's life in a thoughtless manner.

I lay in a prison within a prison. After a few years it really hit home - the pain, the hurt - there are no words to describe the taking of a life. A part of you dies with that person. You can't dream, you can't love and everything every day reminds you of what you did. Doctors gave me drugs. I could not live with what I had done and I wanted to die. I thought if I take my life then in time it won't matter and maybe justice might be balanced. I had a Bible in my cell; I never went near it. I was about to end my life and I thought if I die then where would I go? I cried out to God "I do not believe in you but if you are there forgive me". A voice in me told me to read my Bible. I started to read John's Gospel and then the tears started to run down my face. I am not a hard man but I cried like a baby; the more I read the Bible the more I cried. It's strange yet I felt if anything would keep me from God it was my murder. Every pain, dirty deed that I had committed filled my head and I asked God to forgive them all. I fell asleep exhausted. To be honest what felt like minutes was actually hours. I woke the next morning and I felt clean. Words went through my head "Thank-you Jesus, Thank-you Jesus". I knew Jesus died to set me free, yet I could not understand how I was able to believe in him. I had faith in someone who 24 hours previously I did not believe existed. I called for a priest and explained what had taken place. He told me that I needed confession and looked at me as if I was mad. I thought my mind was going and I gave him my confession. I thought to myself, "At which point are you forgiven, the first Hail Mary, the second, half way through the third?" I asked him why I can not talk to God myself and why I had to pray to Mary - was it not Jesus who died for me? He told me not to delve too deep into things and I would find the answers to my questions when I died.

Fair enough he was a priest - what would I know? Something inside me just didn't seem right. Please do not think that I am having a go at the Catholic Church or priests. I am only sharing my experiences, in case you have the same. God is in control. I am not telling you that the church is wrong; all I ask is that you read the Bible for yourself and make up your own mind. No Church has it all figured out, yet some are closer to the truth than others. With this truth comes more responsibility in the eyes of God.

I was introduced to a Christian who visits prisoners and he explained everything to me. He told me of the Lord's suffering and what he went through to bring me "justification" - praise be his name forever. It all made sense, I regret that it took such a horrible crime to bring me to God, yet it does show his love for me. God loves us so much and no price was too high in his eyes. We are all sinners; then how do we get right with God? It is not by going to church, choosing the right religion, and doing good deeds. This is where so many people search and get it wrong. It is Christ who became our doorway to God. Give yourself five minutes and then give that time to Jesus, tell him that you need his help that you need forgiveness and mean it, use your heart. He will answer, I am not saying your life on earth will be free of problems, but I do know you will feel a peace, love, a belonging and you will be given faith, so you will never feel alone. It is a gift from God, take it, take it for yourself and you will never lose it.

Brothers and Sisters give up this world and grow in Christ. If I can help anyone then contact Martin Tuson through Set Free Prison Ministries Bangor and I will do all I can to help you through Christ. I ask you to pray this prayer with me.

"LORD I KNOW YOU ARE MY SAVIOUR, GOD'S BEGOTTEN SON, THE ONE WHO DIED FOR MY SINS. I REALISE I AM A SINNER AND CAN ONLY REACH GOD THROUGH YOU. COME INTO MY LIFE AND FORGIVE ME, IN JESUS' NAME, AMEN."


How Can God Ever Forgive Me?
(Jim Todd)

I am the lowest of the lowest; I feel I belong to the dregs of society. How can someone, who claims never to have done anything wrong, forgive me for what I have done?

Why would he even want to? , Why should he?

You told me, I look outwardly at what I have become, but he looks inwardly at what I can be. My days looked bleak, my hours long, I ponder from thought to thought with no hope, no future and little comfort. You said he wanted to be my hope, my joy, my peace, my comfort, and most definitely my future. In his love there are no boundaries - it breaks down walls of rejection, walls of guilt and walls of low esteem. His love penetrates to depths I never knew existed; it softens the hardest of hearts with his pure gentle soft touch of the Holy Spirit.

I let my guard down to test this Jesus, to see if he is a forgiving Saviour, a Saviour who can fill every aching void. What a Saviour, he came in like a flood, as I gave him the freedom of my heart. He exchanged my gloom for joy, my restlessness for peace, and rejection for acceptance. He enveloped me with his love, I struggled to understand why my stony heart was softened towards those I once hated, and even began to reach out to those who hurt me in times gone by.

O yes, this Jesus is real. If you could see me now lost in his words, even at times with tears streaming down my face, this Jesus is all that you said, and much more. Friend don't just sit there with a bewildered look. Experience my Jesus and be lost in his love.



I Close My Eyes
(Roi Greensmith, H.M.P. Stafford)

I close my eyes, I know you are there.
I feel your breath and know your touch.

I close my eyes and call to you.
I hear your whisper, to guide you my heart.

I close my eyes, I beg you please.
Forgive my sin, please soothe my soul.

I close my eyes; I feel your warmth.
It fills my soul, no pain any more.

I close my eyes you've set me free.
You're love is precious, it sets me free

I close my eyes; your gift was free.
No strings attached from you to me.



Testimony
(Warren Jewell, H.M.P. Channingswood)

My name is Warren Jewell and I would like to say that in prison in 1994 I became a Christian in Cardiff prison, and was born again by the Spirit of God. I received Jesus Christ as my Saviour, and since that day I have come to learn of the faithfulness of God in my life.

The Christian life for me so far has brought me an unshakeable hope, in the midst of setbacks, and disappointments. I know this - that God is for us and not against us. When I first became a Christian and began to learn about Jesus and following him, I clung to him for help, because I knew that the weaknesses I saw in my life were a long way off what he wanted for me. Nevertheless God is faithful and saw the cry of my heart to want to follow him, and helped me in little steps. I fell from time to time (and still do) but he always comes to restore and pick me up again. The Bible says that Jesus who began this good work in you is faithful and he will complete it in us. I would like to say that, if anyone reading this who is a Christian and has become discouraged through maybe disappointment, setbacks, wrong choices or because of sin, God has given you a hope for the future, a good purpose in him, yet everything seems to be falling apart. I believe the Lord would say to you: Joseph had dreams and a hope for the future, yet suffered in prison for years. He was forgotten about, people lied about him and rejected him. But... the Lord was with Joseph and finally God's elevation of Joseph or Joseph's promotion from God was rooted in disappointments and hardships. Take heart!!!

So let's allow our setbacks and disappointments be our marker stones as part of our Christian walk. Pray about them, talk to God about it all. This is a prayer that may help you. "Dear Father God, thank you so much for your mercy, and patience with me, Lord. Would you please come and involve yourself in my life, and when disappointment or failure may come, please help me to see what it is you're showing me, and show me what to do and give the grace and power to do what you want me to overcome in Jesus Christ".


A Cloud or The Shadow of his Wings?
Dave Nunn

"Oh Lord I have a burden which I've brought in prayer to you.
And I told you all about it, so I know you share it too."

"Oh Lord I have a burden, which I'm sharing now with you.
And I know you care and love me, but it is still my burden too."

"Lord, I still have a burden and I don't know what to do.
Could it possibly be, Father I could leave it all with you?"

"My son, I bore all burdens on the cross of Calvary.
So the burden that you carry, just leave it all with me."


"A Day in the life of a Follower of Jesus"
(Trevor Hinton, H.M.P. Maghaberry)

Dear Friend, it is my prayer that the God of all comfort and all grace will bless these words to your heart in the name of Jesus my Lord and Saviour. In the Maze prison in the year of our Lord 1973 I gave my life to Jesus, because a prison officer took the time to talk to me and tell me that I needed the Lord in my life, and gave me a copy of the Gideons' International Bible.

Yes, I was backslider and the Lord had to allow me to be back inside again before I would come back to him, again as I came the hard way in life and he brought me back to himself. Just a few weeks ago I was working on a farm on the outside of the prison walls and an old injury flared up again and I went to the prison doctor. I was told I had "Median Nerve" in my right wrist and my hand was bruised and bent inwards and also in a lot of pain. I was put on a lot of tablets and they took five x-rays. I was put on the list to see the specialist.

A lot of God's people have been praying for me and a Brother in the Lord, Martin Tuson, called to have a short time of fellowship with us in Erne House, H.M.P. Maghaberry. When Martin looked at my right hand he said "Trevor I want to pray with you and Andy and John because I know God is going to touch you and heal you". I told these Brothers in the Lord that I believe our God saves and heals today because God has healed people that I have prayed for over the years, Praise the Lord.

Martin prayed and I walked a few feet to my own cell, and the Lord spoke to me and said, "Trevor I am the one who makes the crooked ways straight". Later the Lord also spoke to me again with his still small voice and said, "I am the Lord your God who has healed you." My hand went back into the shape it should have been by the power of the Holy Spirit, and I give to him all the honour and all the glory and praise, because he is truly a great and mighty Saviour who is worthy to be praised. I trust that the Lord will bless you and touch you and heal you and save you! "By the blood of the lamb".

John 14 vs.12-14 says, "Verily, verily I say unto you, he that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever you will ask in my name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you shall ask anything in my name, I will do it."


So Happy

Having just been released, Ben was looking forward to attending Church. He gave his life to the Lord only a few months ago. He was born again of God's Spirit and he wanted to grow in Christ. The first Sunday after his release he attended one of the local Churches in his area.

Once he walked in he sensed as if he was being studied by the congregation. He went to sit at the front of the church. As he did he was approached by a smart looking gentleman. He was politely told to move to the back of the Church. Ben did not mind - maybe it was someone else's seat he was sitting in. He sat through the service and again sensed that he was being watched, especially by the minister. After the service he passed by the minister and the gentleman who had told him to move. They stopped him and told him, that there was no need for him to come back - they had been informed he was just out of prison. Ben was so happy to be told this. When he was asked why he was so happy, he exclaimed "I do not want to go anywhere where Christ is not present." He walked away with a spring in his step.


FIND THE ANSWERS

Read Matthew Ch.10
Please let us know if you do not have a Bible and we will send you one.

1) What did Jesus give his twelve disciples?
2) Name the twelve disciples.
3) What did Jesus tell the twelve disciples to do?
4) What did Jesus say that children would do to their parents?
5) What did Jesus say about the hairs on our head?
6) Who will Jesus confess before his Father?
7) Who is not worthy of Christ?
8) What shall a prophet receive?


Testimony
(Suleiman Korosia, Lard Yao Prison, Bangkok)

I was born in a Christian family; both my parents are Christians. I used to go to church when I was younger. Even if you are born into a Christian family it does not make you a Christian, unless you ask Christ to be your personal Saviour. Unfortunately I was blind with earthly things. In Matthew 6 vs.32-34 it says, "seek ye first the Kingdom of God and everything else will be provided for you". For what if you do indeed gain the whole world and lose your very soul. God loved me and I was blessed, but I could not see. Then I was arrested in Thailand in 1990 with drug charges. I was sentenced to 100 years; it was later reduced to 40 years.

I have now served 13 years of this sentence and I have accepted Christ as my personal Saviour. This is why I would like you to put your confidence in Christ, because he will never fail you and you will be a winner through Christ. In this prison I did not have any friends, but I saw the love of God. He spoke with me, advised me, encouraged me, protected me, fed me, and comforted me, also he helped me. So I have decided to follow Jesus, for he is the Way, Truth and the Life. Whoever comes to Him shall never die. Today in my 13th year in prison, I want to take back what the devil has stolen and to share the love of Christ with others. May God bless you all with peace and joy.


A Follower of God

How do you start telling someone that the most amazing thing in your life has just happened - you've become a Christian? One true follower of God. If I can try and paint you a picture of how my life changed. Try and see where I'm coming from.

My name is Jason and I have lived in Bangor all of my life. I grew up in Bloomfield Estate with my mum, dad and sister. Life was all right until my mum died of cancer - she was only 33. It hit me hard, even though I was only 11 or 12 years old, but what I could not understand was, mum's family lived all around her. Her mother, sisters and brothers all became "Good Living" - this was the term I can remember. They tried to turn mum and dad but they were not interested. I remember walking along the street with mum towards one of her sisters. When she saw my mum she crossed to the other side of the road. Why? Because she wasn't a Christian. It hurt my mum, and it scared me for years. They didn't talk to us until mum was on her deathbed, then they rallied round her asking her to repent. I remember seeing Gospel tracts beside her bed. Now I don't think any of her family are Christians today. They obviously were not true followers of God.

We moved away to Railway View Street, just behind the train station. Life was hard enough, but we got on with it. I was going through High School with a chip on my shoulder. I remember in one R.E. class the teacher asked me to read the Bible. Swinging on my chair I told her where to go. That was the start! Another time I ripped up the Bible in front of my mates (what was I thinking of?) I fell in with the wrong crowd and got into all sorts of trouble and started taking drugs. I was working and spending all my wages on drugs, more or less every week for about four years. E's, Speed, Acid, Dope were the usual. One of my mates said we should try harder drugs. (I was losing the plot).

I was having problems at home; it was becoming a nightmare. I couldn't find help from home, so without sounding too dramatic, ME of all people dropped to my knees and looked up to God in Heaven for help, and said "God if you are there, help me. All I want is a girl, house and kids". Two or three weeks later I met Kerry. She was surely sent from Heaven, God chose a special woman to be with me. She was like a lifeguard - every time I went under she pulled me back to the surface. I left home (I had to). I moved into a room in "Bed Sit Land", it was awful. It was winter and it was like a fridge. Kerry found an ad for another room to view - this time it was with a couple and their two boys. They agreed and I moved into a room twice the size, which had a radiator the length of a car. It was like living in an oven rather than a fridge, it was great. They were great; they treated me like one of their own. We had meals together and they said Grace; they were Christians. I had so much respect for them it scared me. They were amazing people. I was there for about a year and a half (God was moving).

Kerry and I got our first house together, what a feeling! We plodded through life not thinking of God. We got married and had our first baby, a boy called Adam. My prayer was being answered, although I didn't know it.

I was 29 and wearing a false face. I still wasn't happy inside. What was wrong? I liked to drink at weekends, and thought I was the man, invincible really. Who was I trying to kid? I had a heart attack in May 2002. My consultant said I was the third case in all his 30 years of practice to have a heart attack so young. People were shocked, I was angry. It was all part of God's plan to change me. Kerry was pregnant and expecting twins (shock or what). She was going to Bangor Elim's mother-and-toddler group with Adam. Isn't God amazing! The ball was already rolling. We went along to an open day for the kids in the church, and there I met David, the guy who had taken me into his home. It was great to see him again. His wife Carol had another baby, a boy. Also there, was Sonya, a friend we knew through Kerry's sister, a really nice girl. It was Sonya who said we should go to the service, so we went the next day, but I was adamant I was not becoming a Christian. We went the following week, and that night is where it gets interesting. We were having our dinner and this almighty feeling was telling me to go to the church, NOW! We just made the service and no more. Davy Beckett gave his sermon and at the end he asked for anyone to raise their hand, just to acknowledge to him, and take Jesus to be their Saviour. It was as if my arm was chained to the floor by the devil - it would not move. Then God smashed the chains and my arm flew up and stayed there for about five to ten minutes. What was happening? I went to the front and Pastor Beckett prayed with me. I WAS SAVED. What a feeling.

Kerry gave birth to two baby girls, Katie and Molly. God had surely blessed us with three beautiful kids, and Kerry was also saved. She had to be, because God had sent her, remember, to sort me out. I'll sum it up with what a great Christian Brother wrote, Brother Yun known as the Heavenly man:

"Thank God he protected and preserved me through the trials. I knew God was using the wrath of evil men to accomplish his purposes in me, to break down my self-centredness and my stubbornness. He taught me how to wait on Him, how to patiently endure hardship, and how to love the family of God in a more real way."

GOD BLESS YOU ALL IN JESUS' NAME, AMEN


NOTE FROM THE EDITOR........

What a start to this New Year to receive Christ as your personal Saviour. I pray that our precious Saviour will have spoken to your heart through this thirteenth Issue of Set Free. Throughout last year many lives have been transformed by our risen Saviour, many inmates have experienced his touch and have been born into his Kingdom. Their prison cell is now a different place, for the light of Christ now shines where once it was dark. If you want to accept Christ into your own life, then this prayer will help you

God Bless, MARTIN
"Dear Father, I know that I am a sinner and I need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I am willing to turn from my sin and I now invite Jesus Christ to come into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. I am willing by God's grace to follow and obey Christ as Lord of my life".

If you have prayed this prayer and have accepted Christ into your life, then please let us know, so we can pray and help you in your new life in Christ.