Body

Set Free Issue No.18 by Martin Tuson

SUICIDE OR GOD? Joseph McAuley H.M.P. Wandsworth

I was born in Sandy Row, Belfast, in 1964, and from an early age I was filled with beliefs that being a Protestant was good, and everything else was bad. The troubles were rife through my early years, and in 1974 my family - 3 sisters, 1 brother, mum and dad moved to London to escape the mayhem. I settled into life in England very easily and at the age of 12 I joined the Boys' Brigade. This was my first real introduction to God although I didn't pay much attention. By the age of 14 I was smoking pot and getting involved in petty crime, I was the one in the group that never seemed to get caught. It was 4 years later at the age of 18 that I received my first conviction, and it was around this time that my father was arrested for sectarian offences which happened before we moved to England. All our family had to move back to Belfast because of my dad's circumstances and threats to my family. It was like going back in time. I was imprisoned in the Crumlin Road Prison, Belfast, charged with a string of offences, although my crimes were not for sectarian offences. I was still able to go on the paramilitary wing because of my father - this first experience of prison was a joke, and I felt no emotion about being there. Within 10 months I was released and decided to go back to England under my dad's orders, as he knew where I was heading, so I came back to London. Things were not the same: my friends disowned me as my dad was labelled a terrorist, I fell in with hard core criminals, and within a few months I was committing robberies and all sorts of crime and making a lot of money. In 1985 I met a girl I had known when I first lived in London, and we started dating. Within a year we had our first child called Justin, and life was up and down with a few spells spent in prison. In 1990 I committed a robbery and discharged a firearm and served 7½ years in prison. My partner Karen and I split up during this time, and I had no visits for many years from her or my son. During this time I continuously smoked drugs. I started to investigate the meaning of life; I studied Buddhism and Yoga; I really thought I had all the answers. I was very philosophical, way out; I was a bit of an artist at school and during the sentence I improved immensely. My favourite works were always religious pictures - I copied a lot of them; I did not know why; I just liked them more than anything else. I was released in 1995 thinking I was different, but I hadn't changed a bit - my life had only been on pause. Not long after my release I got back with my partner. I convinced her I was a new man and crime was in my past. We planned to get married, but this didn't happen - more drugs, more crime and more spells in prison, although I managed to have two more children with Karen, a daughter called Ava-Jo and a son called Jack. I thought each time that this would change me, even the fact my daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy. I love them so much but couldn't change.

In November 2002 I was back on remand. I had only been released in September from a 3-year sentence, and things were getting out of hand far quicker now. Karen wrote and told me she wanted nothing more to do with me and that she was moving on. We'd been together almost 18 years by then, most of them with me incarcerated. I was devastated, in the cell here at Wandsworth coming up to Christmas - 7th December. I realised I had two options, Suicide or God. I'm pleased and honoured to say today that I chose the right one. Six weeks later my mother died tragically at the age of 58. Without the Lord I do not know how I would have coped. I prayed to God to give me my partner back, which he has done, and I'm pleased to say she is also walking with the Lord - Praise God! She has noticed a total transformation in me, in everything I say and do, and now I realise it myself. Thanks and Praise are forever to the Lord for the opportunity of being where I am today. I finished a sentence on 16th September 2004, and was arrested at the gate for other offences. But God is my judge and whatever happens may it be His will, I know He has a plan for me and every day I am a step closer to fulfilling it until our Lord Jesus comes again. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah Ch.29 v.11. God Bless.

**Unfolding the rose**
A young new preacher was walking with an older more seasoned preacher in the garden one day feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do. He was enquiring of the older preacher. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off the petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the WILL OF GOD for his life and ministry. Because of his high respect for the older preacher he proceeded to TRY to unfold the rose while keeping every petal intact.... It wasn't long before he realised how impossible it was to do so. Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud while keeping it intact, the older preacher began to recite the following poem.... It is only a tiny rosebud, a flower of God's design; But I cannot unfold the petals, with these clumsy hands of mine. The secret of unfolding flowers is not known to such as I. God opens this flower so sweetly - when in my hands they fade and die. If I cannot unfold a rosebud - this flower of God's design, Then how can I think I have wisdom, to unfold this life of mine? So I'll trust in Him for His leading, each moment of the day. I will look to Him for guidance, each step of the pilgrim way. The pathway that lies before me - only my heavenly Father knows. I'll trust Him to unfold the moments, just as He unfolds the Rose.

FROM PRISON TO PREACHER

I had an appalling record for violence and served time in these Prisons: Wormwood Scrubs, Durham, Brixton, Haverigg, Wandsworth, Ashford, Wayland. My name is Dougie March. I was brought up in Byker in the East End of Newcastle Upon Tyne. My father was a long distance lorry driver and my mother is from Inverness in the highlands of Scotland. Violence was part of my life from an early age. Fighting in the school yard developed into fights and running battles at football matches. I took up boxing to try to curb my temper but it only prepared me for the many bar fights that were to come. My first Prison sentence was for 5 charges of assault, three of which involved police officers. I was embroiled in a drug smuggling gang, hooked on cocaine and amphetamine and expecting to spend the rest of my life in jail. When I was released from Durham I was still an angry young man looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. Searching for the truth, I walked the bomb blasted streets of Belfast in Northern Ireland and met the Blue Men of the Sahara Desert at Goulimine in South Morrocco. The bright lights and brown eyed girls of London and Paris, the bars of the Port of Malaga in Spain and the waterfront cafes of Amsterdam afforded me no lasting pleasure. Guinness was my poison and speed was my powder but the buzz does not last for ever. Paranoid trips and nights without sleep were wearing me down. I was alone in my sufferings and in the rat race of life... this rat had stopped running! The Bible says that the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:17 came to his senses and was honest about the mess he was in. I made up my mind that I wanted to change and I wanted to find God. I am eternally thankful to God for what happened next. In February 1986 I prayed to God, asking Him to help me. Within two weeks I was stopped on a busy Newcastle Street by two girls who told me about Jesus the Christ. Not long after this I went to church with one of the girls and I had a life changing experience. I heard how God sent Jesus Christ His only begotten Son into the world to pay the price for sin. Jesus was God in the Flesh - he was born of a virgin, so He was without sin and He lived a sinless life. Jesus was crucified and He died on the cross, but three days later He was raised from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit. I knew I was a sinner on my way to Hell and the Lake of Fire forever. (Revelation 20 v.10-15). I repented of my sin, I was honest about what was happening, and I strongly decided to walk in God's ways and to turn my back on all my old life. It was not just a feeling; it was a decision of my heart to follow Christ. I believed Christ's Blood had cleansed me from all sin and I knew I was forgiven. The Holy Spirit of God came into my life to lead me into truth, I was born again (see John 3:3). I was baptised in water soon after by full immersion (Believer's Baptism). Infant baptism is not found in the bible. From then on I began changing. I stopped swearing and I stopped stealing. A few weeks later some friends gave me some amphetamine and I flushed it down the toilet. I haven't touched drugs since. I have gone from Prison to Preacher, preaching throughout the world. It is not possible to find biblical salvation and to know God personally by any other Religion. When people ask the question, "what changed you?" my answer is, the Love of God.

AT JUST 33! - by Ray Varley, H.M.P. Full Sutton

Within the garden of Gethsemane, He poured out His heart, at just 33.
In anguish and sorrow in deep misery, the cross set before Him, at just 33.
In the prime of His life, He chose Calvary,
An atoning sacrifice for our sins, at just 33.
"My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me?"
He cried from the cross, at just 33.
Now the cross is bare and empty,
and the tomb needs not a sentry, for He is risen!
The curtain has been torn asunder,
& the heavens declared & clapped with thunder, it is finished!
The precious blood that poured from Him,
Has cleansed the sin that clung to me, I am forgiven!
The cross is bare and empty;
The tomb needs not a sentry, for Christ is Risen!

From Gangland to Christ, by Davey Falcus

From my early teens I was involved in organised crime and lived the life of a gangster. My name is Davey Falcus, also known as Davey Tams. I was born in Carlisle in 1966 and was adopted at six weeks old after my mother died. At the age of five death struck again, this time taking three of my adoptive grandparents, an uncle and my adoptive mother. I was shattered - everyone I loved was taken away from me in the space of a few months. I did not get on with my adoptive father. At seven I was drinking, smoking and thieving. At thirteen I was in care. I was angry and hated the world. I graduated from borstal to prison, working with the "crime families" of Newcastle's notorious West End. At twenty one I was helping to run pubs and working as a bouncer. I was also heavily involved in the drug scene, working with the "firm" who controlled Newcastle. I was a very violent man who was known and feared throughout "Clubland". I had been in gang warfare all my life, having been shot at, stabbed, hit with axes, glasses, bottles and iron bars. I helped run bars in Newcastle and London, and have been involved with many of the top villains from London to Glasgow. I blew a fortune on drink, drugs and high living. At twenty eight I'd had enough - I was a junkie / alcoholic who needed help. Determined to change, I moved house three times to get away from friends. I searched my way through Spiritism, Buddhism and other eastern religions looking for the answer to my problems and addictions, but found none. I was tormented by nightmares and voices that raged at me to kill myself. I was desperate for peace. On the 16th August 1995 I picked up a Bible that had been left in our house by a friend. It said "he who seeks finds." Totally desperate and on the verge of suicide, I called out to Jesus Christ asking for forgiveness. I shouted until I got a response. To my utter amazement a bright shining light filled the room; it was brighter than the sun. Wave after wave of pure bliss rolled over my body. As I looked up Jesus was standing over me he said to me" 'Your sins are forgiven, go now and sin no more." It was the most beautiful experience of my life and I was now born again (John 3 v.3). Today I have joy, peace, love and contentment. No longer is my mind full of fear, paranoia and violence. The voices are now silent; He set me free from drugs, alcoholism and cigarettes. I found the answer to all my problems in Jesus Christ. I am no longer searching; I have a personal relationship with Jesus. He is my best friend, and you can have him too. No-one is too far gone; Jesus loves you and wants to help. Allow him to change your life as He did mine.

Davey Falcus, Servant of Jesus Christ.

— God Bless You —

I wish for you...........
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Gentle hugs when spirits sag,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
And love to complete your life,
God Bless You!
I asked the Lord to bless you,
As you go along your way,
His love is always with you,
His promises are true,
No matter what the tribulation,
You know He will see us through,
So when the road you're travelling on
seems difficult at best,
Give your problems to the Lord
And God will do the rest.

A young African martyr wrote these words in his prison cell before he died:

I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast, I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future's secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colourless dreams, tamed visions, worldly walking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I won't give up, shut up, let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up for the cause of Jesus Christ.

I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till everyone knows, work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no trouble recognising me because my banner will have been clear.
—

HEALING PRAYER
This following prayer has brought healing in body to many. I believe that God will touch and heal many through this anointed prayer. There will be inmates reading this now who are suffering with sickness or pain. Read this and believe what it says.

Lord, I come before you now with a thankful heart. Precious Saviour you have spoken to me about your healing power. Many Lord are suffering in their physical bodies. Lord I write this letter now and pray for those who read it, to know your healing power upon their afflicted bodies. Lord I take authority over every disease and sickness, which is afflicting my Brothers and Sisters; I claim this authority with the authority you have given me as your disciple.

PSALM 103 v.3 "WHO FORGIVETH ALL THINE INIQUITIES; AND HEALETH ALL THY DISEASES."

Lord I pray for your power to be demonstrated today; by stretching forth your healing hand and that your healing power and virtue will flow into bodies that are afflicted.

JOHN 14 v.12-14 "VERILY, VERILY, I SAY UNTO YOU, HE THAT BELIEVETH ON ME, THE WORKS THAT I DO SHALL HE DO ALSO; AND GREATER WORKS THAN THESE SHALL HE DO; BECAUSE I GO UNTO MY FATHER. AND WHATSOEVER YOU WILL ASK IN MY NAME, THAT WILL I DO, THAT THE FATHER MAY BE GLORIFIED IN THE SON. IF YOU SHALL ASK ANYTHING IN MY NAME, I WILL DO IT."

In the name of Jesus Christ and faith in that name, I pray for healing. Lord I speak against this problem in the flesh.

ACTS 4 v.30 "BY STRETCHING FORTH THINE HAND TO HEAL; AND THAT SIGNS AND WONDERS MAY BE DONE BY THE NAME OF THY HOLY CHILD JESUS."

Lord I thank you that you have heard this prayer and I praise you that you will bring healing through your word, for we claim this in Jesus' name. Today, Lord, your name will be glorified in this place and this will be a testimony to your power. Thank you Lord for your Grace and Mercy - we give you all the honour, for you alone are worthy.

Please write and share your testimony of healing through this prayer.
To God be all the Glory, great things He hath done.

Testimony in Poetry — the Lord's Grace to Ray

I am man enough to admit I was vile, and wise enough to see
That what Christ did on the cross He did for me.

I need no-one to tell me what I was like, when stuck upon life's shelf;
The laughing stock I may have been, but only I a fool to myself.

I couldn't see the path to take, the way of righteousness;
I couldn't see the hearts I'd break, or the aftermath of misery, distress.

I couldn't see the prison walls that welcomed my disgrace;
I couldn't hear my Father's calls, because I'd fell from grace.

The womanising, despising, sexually immoralising, the drugs, robberies & booze;
Living in death, like the stench of bad breath, in my ways I was bound to lose.

The lying, the cheating, always defeating, the good I ought to have done;
Unloving, uncaring, sometimes domineering, unstable, confidence had none.

I've bullied 'us a fact, a cowardly act, oppressing the weak and the poor;
Strong-arm stuff, all such a bluff, I thank God I do it no more.

I thank God for His grace and for shining His face, on one who deserved condemnation;
Now, He has given me hope, a new strength to cope, and against all the odds, salvation.

For lowest of the low was I, murderer, liar, thief;
Chained in sin to die, that was my belief.

I trod the path of darkness, stumbling blindly on;
Sin my only compass, all my hopes had gone.

Hardened to the world was I, broken every rule;
I let a righteous life slip by, none else but I a fool.

I had heard of God's saving grace, so knelt I in solemn prayer;
Tears of shame streaked my face, the guilt no more could bear.

I poured out my supplication, as much as I could tell;
I received God's grace, salvation, on my knees in a prison cell.

If God can save a wretch like me, then there's hope for anyone;
For Christ died for All on Calvary, my Father's Will be done.

By Ray Varley H.M.P. Full Sutton

Matthew 3:15-17
Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfil all righteousness." Then John consented. As soon as Jesus was baptised, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, "This is My Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased."

Martin Tuson had the privilege of baptising three brothers in Christ in H.M.P. Maghaberry, Bann House, Northern Ireland. Our Brothers' names are Marc Sheppard, Tommy Quinn & Charlie McFadyen. May the Lord bless you all for showing your act of confession in the faith and obedience in the word.

FIND THE ANSWERS - Read Hebrews, Chapter 9

1) What was the earthly Sanctuary called? (Man Made)   .
2) Who could enter the Most Holy Place?                           .
3) What must he bring with him before entering?                .
4) What offering did the High Priest use to cover their sin?
5) How many times did Jesus Christ enter? (Heaven)        .
6) Christ entered the Most Holy Place with what?              .
7) There is no forgiveness without it ... ( -----)                      .
8) Christ was sacrificed (----) to take away our sins.       — .

TOUGH TIMES Read Acts Chapter 16 Verses 16-34

After a severe beating, Paul & Silas were thrown into jail (Acts 16-23).

Paul and Silas were arrested for preaching the Gospel, then beaten and jailed. Their time might have been spent in complaining and self-pity. Instead these two followers of Christ prayed and sang hymns. When an earthquake opened their prison doors, their jailer was terrified that he would be punished for their escape. But Paul and Silas did not choose to escape. The jailer was impressed by their behaviour; he asked Paul and Silas how he could be saved. They testified to him. As a result, the jailer and all his family were baptised. Their behaviour should remind us not to complain. Despite abuse and imprisonment, Paul and Silas prayed and praised God with song. Their courage and commitment should inspire us not only to be thankful, but to look beyond circumstances to the needs of those around us.

Thought for the day: God works for our good, even in bad times.\

Prayer: Help us, O God, to seek you in the experiences, both positive and negative,
and to witness by our example. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Note from the Editor

I want to close this Issue of Set Free, reminding us of God's loving Grace & Mercy towards mankind. What you've done in your sinful life God will forgive you through the precious blood of Jesus. Trust in him today. Luke l v.37 "For nothing is impossible with God." Mark 3 v.28. "I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them." Hebrews 10 v.17 "And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."

If you want to accept Christ into your own life then pray this following prayer. God Bless.

"Dear Father, I know that I am a sinner and that I need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I am willing to turn away from my sin and now I invite Jesus to come into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. I am willing by God's Grace to follow and obey Christ as Lord of my life.

If you have prayed this prayer and have accepted Christ into your heart and life, please let us know, so we can pray and help you in your new life in Christ.

29-Dec-07