This is about how life here has affected me emotionally, spiritually and physically as well as my family; despite all this it has brought more good than harm. I was brought up in Livingstone town but born in eastern Province of Zambia. I come from a very poor family and I did little in education because of the family status. Having been brought up in a poor family, I turned to crime as a way of providing the daily need for my family and myself. It being an evil act I did, 1 thought I would do it once and solve all the family problems. While being in prison my wife decided to remarry and my family stopped visiting me. This marked the darkest moment of my life. Day and night would go unaccounted due to the agony of the situation. Whilst in my dirty cell, as days went on, I started reviewing my life of the past and began to realise the need for God in my life. I began to read more and more about God, wherever and whenever I could. Shortly after committing my life to Christ, I joined a Bible study and started fellowshipping with my fellow believers. Now, my faith in Christ has grown in leaps and bounds over the years and there is only God to thank for the way in which my life has taken a new meaning and purpose. This time around, I feel his warmth renewing me and transforming me daily. Amen.

My name is John O'Connor and I was born in Felling, Gateshead. I was brought up in a non-Christian background. I was raised into a very troubled family life, with only my mother looking after me, my two brothers and a sister. Through tragic circumstances my mother was murdered when I was aged eleven, which totally devastated me. At that stage I rebelled against the world, ending in and out of care homes and to a life of crime and drugs. I did this to escape the pain and hurt that I was in. I started off taking solvents, then on to soft drugs, then gradually over the years on to the harder drug Heroin. My whole life revolved around stealing to pay for my habit. My first prison sentence came at the age of 19. It continued throughout the years, in and out of seven different prisons around the country, "Durham, Acklington, Low-Newton, Castington, Preston, Wetherby and Holme House." I also have been in some of these prisons several times over. Prison at the time was like a second home to me. I was well known by the authorities and I was on the records as being a professional shoplifter, travelling around the country in teams. At the time I found it no problem to make at least £1000 a week, on top of personal stuff that we kept, then blow the lot on drugs. Even though I put on a brave face to the world, I felt totally alone, unloved and without hope. Then at the age of 26 whilst in Durham prison and going through withdrawal symptoms, I cried out to Cod from my heart and asked, if He was real to help me and take the craving for heroin away. After I cried out, a great peace came over me and I knew that God had heard me and responded to me. I gained a strength that was unknown to me and I was totally delivered from heroin addiction. (1 am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: Romans 1:16)

At the time of writing this I'm now aged 32 and have been completely free from drugs for 6 years. People said it would not last, but Jesus sets you free ("So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8 v.36), and He keeps you free. Over this period of time God has restored me completely and given me a hope for the future. In this period of time I needed a lot of emotional healing, but through the difficult times I had to face my past hurts, which I had kept hidden over the years. I also came to experience in a big way how much Jesus loved me and was committed to me and to release me from all the pain. God has now given me a purpose with my life. I own my own business, marketing fine art. I have no qualifications whatsoever, but Jesus has given me His word and promises, which I believe fully and I also trust God - He has said He will bring me into what He has promised and He has not failed me yet. God is faithful and He loves you. ("Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst." - 1 Timothy 1 v.15) ("If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1 v.8-9) God is looking for us to face up to the truth that we are all sinful ("for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3 v.23). We have to stop running away from God's truth and accept what He has done for us. Jesus said He will return at a time when no-one will be expecting Him; it says in the Bible that as in the days of Noah when the flood came, so will Jesus return again. Will you be ready?

Just in the same way as many of you, I was like one of them 'neighbourhood' thoroughbred race horses with blinders (blinkers), seeing only one way and believing only one way (the various unwritten laws and belief system), going full speed down the track to hell. My name is Big Ed... Resurrected from the Dead. I thank God for pulling me out of the snake pit of this world and the darkest deepest crevices of this prison system. I came from a poor but good family, with the best parents one could hope for. They did everything for me, textbook style. They baptised me as a baby and I made my first "Holy Communion and Confirmation", did all the religious ceremonies in the name of 'tradition'. At that time I never knew the real meaning of it all, just went through the motions. When I was knee high to a grasshopper my dad went off to the Vietnam War, tragedy came into my household and instead of being helpful to my mother, I became a problem and started my career in self destruction at the age of ten years old. I struggled through an identity crisis that led to me making more than my share of bad decisions and mistakes. I chose to be brought up in a rough neighbourhood where I learned more in the streets than in school. I started hanging out in the neighbourhood's wolf pack 'glory hunting', making a name for myself to gain respect. Within that position within that crowd depended, and was determined, by how you carried and conducted yourself during certain situations and circumstances. For example: fighting, stealing cars, burglarising, so on and so forth. This determines your status and you're either tagged and recognised as a 'reg' (regular), a 'wanna-be' and then there's the 'laps' and 'lames'. This recognition determines what you reap out of your neighbourhood; you either got everything coming including the 'rucas' (girls), or you just fit in where you could get in, to nothing coming at all. I was in and out of juvenile halls, graduating to serve two terms in Los Prietos Boys Camp. By this time I developed a calloused heart and became de-sensitised. I lost all material value over things; "easy come... easy go". A lot of us put on a mask and act like someone we're not: Super Cholos'... 'Rock n Roll Gangsters'... etc. etc. etc. by the time we turn 'wolfteen' our hearts go from a pebble to a big ole ugly stone. I was given a chance to change my life before I turned eighteen. I was recruited straight from juvenile hall and served time in the Marine Corps, but I continued in bad behaviour. I considered the world to be my ashtray and I littered it with wreckage, letting a lot of people down along the way, especially my son's. My bad behaviour that continued led me to my first prison sentence, where I graduated into a bright-eyed super cholo, low riding and glory hunting, wanting my name to sound and echo all the way back into that neighbourhood where I came from. I had become a lethal weapon for the 'chamuco' (devil), destroying lives and wrecking homes and families.

This is my second term in prison. My bad behaviour eventually turned to murder and I was given a life sentence. I drove up to Folsom Prison in 1987 and eventually fell into the game and ran wild... 'In the mix.' These prison yards are society's junkyards and the devil's playgrounds. The devil roams to and fro like one of those Pac-Mans devouring people alive. The devil is the Master Puppeteer, pulling strings and pitting everyone against each other to destroy them. He's got his big ole trick bag with all the appealing things, like drugs, alcohol, pornography and things. A hidden scheme to take you down to the pit of hell. I got caught up in the drug game and found myself in the devil's belly at Corcoran Prison, nothing but wickedness lurking about every corner. For five long years I was in and out of the 'hoyo' (the hole... prisons inside of prisons). I was stuck on the chain of fools. Many 'hudas' (cops) had the desire and tried very hard to keep me in the 'hoyo'... indeterminately.., but all the while the Lord was at work in my life.

Several years ago I woke up to the shocking reality. Half of my life has been stolen from me... 'I've been robbed!' all that neighbourhood stuff I believed in was a distorted lie. My poisoned mind that give birth to the self made 'vato loco pinta poster pinup boy!' It all turned out to be a big ole lie from the pit of hell. (From experience!) Not going along with the crowd can help you stand out in the crowd. Yep, sometimes being yourself is the hardest thing to do. Going along with the crowd may be easy, but being an individual will be more rewarding. Don't make your choices based on the crowd; make your choices based on true feelings, your values and your needs. My life has almost been destroyed by acting like someone that I really wasn't. I would never have guessed it, or dreamed in my wildest dreams, that I'd pick up a Bible in the jail house, but God had a plan for my life, just like He has a plan for your life. The Lord Jesus Christ extracted me out of the deepest, darkest crevices of this prison system and He's more than capable of extracting you out of whatever situation or circumstance that you may be going through. God is a God of second chances and a God of restoration. Joel 2:25 says, "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten..." Amen!

I've got to say that there's nothing weak about being a Christian. As a matter of fact, it's the toughest thing you'll ever do. I've seen the Hand of God touch so many lives in these prison yards; Miracles on top of miracles. If you're tired of MASQUERADING... living the lie, all caught up in the devil's trick bag. "Now's That Time!"... Turn or Burn. Get "prayed in" instead of "jumped in!" Accept or Reject... it's up to you! They said I would never amount to anything. They didn't know that the Lord takes the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise. (l Corinthians 1 v.27) Today I'm a success and more free than I've ever been, simply because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. (Romans 10 v.9-11)

It is night and the city is aglow. Bright lights shining in the night time, clubs that party all night long, drugs to get you up and drugs to bring you down, fast cars, wild and unprotected sex. On and on it goes until you are right back where you started with no money, no friends, lonely, unhappy and confused. (Yea, I know, it was fun while it lasted) but in the end living in the fast lane will do nothing but bring you heartache, frustration and pain. You not only destroy yourself but you will bring both bitterness and unhappiness to the people who love you the most. There is a price to pay for wanting to live this dazzling and flamboyant lifestyle. That price is your soul. Therefore, I want you to really think, young people. Do you really want to live your life in the fast lane? Please open a Bible and read Luke Chapter 15 verses 11 to 31. There was a man who had two sons. The younger son said to his dad, "Give me my share of the estate." The father reluctantly agreed and divided his property between his two sons. The young man was tired of working on the family farm, he wanted adventure and excitement. He wanted to live that party life, so he took the money. He partied, got drunk and hung out with prostitutes while living life in the fast lane. Soon his wealth was gone. His "fair weather friends" left him and he found himself with not even enough money to buy a piece of bread. The only job he could find was that of feeding pigs. He was so hungry that he began to eat the slop made for the pigs. As he sat in the mud puddles of life he realised that living in the fast lane was no good. He decided that he would go back home to his father, the one who loved him the most. Note in the scripture that the father took him back and celebrated his return. The father forgive him and accepted him — dirty and with only rags on his back. In the same way our heavenly father accepts us just as we are when we humble ourselves, repent of our sins and receive Him into our lives. Young people, I am not trying to scare you, but I urge you to not be like me. I lived my life in the fast lane and look where I am, sitting behind these prison walls. You are young. Have fun but do not let anyone destroy your youth. Finish school and get your education. You can enjoy life without spending it in the fast lane. Think of the future, prepare yourself for a career. Set high standards for yourself. Remember that there is nothing to gain by trying to live in the fast lane. I wish someone had taken the time to share with me what I am sharing with you. Living in the fast lane is like this; the more you get, the more you want, and the more you want the more you are willing to do anything it takes to get it. Many who thought the same thing are now sitting life out behind prison walls. Listen to your parents; they know what is best for you. You may want to go your own way, but I encourage you to not be like me. Do not throw your life away. Take life slow. Make smart decisions and allow Jesus Christ to be the centre of your life. This is how you can live an abundant and fulfilling life. Remember that there is nothing to gain by living in the fast lane. 

SET FREE! - Look Up These Verses in Your Bibles. 1) ZECHARIAH 9 v.11 2) JOHN 8 v.36 3) ROMANS 6 v.18 4) ROMANS 6 v.20-23 5) ROMANS 8 v.2 6) ROMANS 13 v.3-5 7) GALATIANS 5 v.1 8) 1 PETER 2 v.16

Note from the Editor
If you want to accept Christ into your own life, then pray this following prayer. God Bless.

"Dear Father, I know that I am a sinner and that I need forgiveness. I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I am willing to turn away from my sin and now I invite Jesus to come into my heart and life as my personal Saviour. I am willing by God's Grace. to follow and obey Christ as Lord of my life."

If you have prayed this prayer and have accepted Christ into your heart and life, please let us know, so we can pray and help you in your new life in Christ.