I spent half my adult life in and out of crime and drugs. By the age of 36, I had done practically everything immoral and illegal under the sun. Most of my old friends were already dead, or they were long-term prisoners. I was, as often as not, sitting in jail also...and that's where I've spent the other half of my adult life. So there I was again, on August 12, 1988, all alone. I had sat in that jail cell for the past month, feeling like I was in a living hell. I had recovered from the physical ravages of drug abuse, but my heart and spirit were broken because of my beautiful young wife of six months. She was also alone now, out on the streets somewhere. She weighed 70 pounds as a result of being addicted to heroin and crack-cocaine. She had resorted to prostitution for her drugs. Everyday I feared the very real possibility that she was dead, maybe the victim of some psycho-sex maniac, drug dealer, rip-off artist, or overdose. I thought my situation was hopeless and getting worse. If you had asked me about Jesus I probably would have told you that He was the victim of a failed religious power play, that He and His boys had tried to steal the Jews' religious power, so He was nailed for it. I always kind of admired Him as a revolutionary, great teacher, prophet, and quite possibly the greatest man to have ever lived. But that's as far as my belief went, until that night when out of desperation, I sought out a Spanish guy who was always reading the Bible and singing about Christ in a very loud, proud, joyful voice. I asked him if he could give me some passages out of that Bible for the strength I needed to hold up. He said to read the gospel of St. John, Chapter 16. So I started, and when I got to verse 25, I read about Jesus telling His disciples: "These things I have spoken unto you in proverbs: but the time cometh when I shall no more speak unto you in proverbs, but I shall show you plainly of the Father" (KJV). I stopped right there. I sensed something in these words, my mind perceived a promise, my heart felt a stirring of hope. I called the Christian guy over to my bed and asked, "Where in the Book does Christ show God plainly 'cause that's what I need to see?" He said, "Keep reading." It was nearly the midnight of a very long day. He saw the troubled look on my face and said, "Okay, let's pray. You go first."

Waves of memories and the guilt of a lifetime flooded in on me more and more, until they finally caused me to cry out as something inside broke. I cried how sorry I was for the way I had lived my life, the people I had hurt. I told God how sorry I was for hurting Him also. I asked Him to please forgive me. From seemingly out of nowhere this image of a man began coming into my mind's eye. As I looked closer I knew that it was Jesus. He appeared at a distance, naked, with just a robe-like cloth wrapped around His waist but most noticeable was the immense suffering that seemed to pour off Him. It hit me with an impact that caused me to blurt out, "I'd help you! And now I'm asking you to help my wife and me, 'cause I can't do it. I'm sick of this, I need your help!", the whole time crying and lastly begging for Him to "please carry me. I can't make it on my own." After I cried for Jesus to carry me, I closed my eyes again and bowed my head. Immediately I started to feel His Spirit coming inside me, filling me with His glory, an indescribable Presence of love that I could feel and still do. I opened my eyes and took a look at my Spanish friend. He had also been praying fervently (in Spanish), crying and travailing for me the whole time. I said to him, "Esteban, for the first time in my life I have a grasp of what Jesus is all about."

I've been a different man since that night the Lord's Spirit touched me, a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). I spend time every day reading God's Holy, living Word. In His infinite love and mercy God saved my wife Deanna also, praise God! She saw what the Lord had done for me and sought Him herself. She was delivered by Jesus from satan and drug addiction. She's been leading a Christian life pleasing to the Lord, for almost a year. We now hope to be useful in His service, living witnesses to those that have eyes to see and ears to hear about the love of Jesus.

My name is Roy Lee Thomas Jenkins and I want to share with you how I came to find the Lord Jesus Christ behind prison Walls.

I was born October 2, 1951 in New Castle, Indiana, to Joh and Vivian Jenkins. Why we ever moved to New York is beyond my comprehension but, I had no choice in the matter. Times were rough and I knew what it meant to be without all my life. Early one morning I woke to my mother's screaming and the fear I felt at that time I cannot describe. When I entered the kitchen at four years old, I witnessed my father throwing my mother down the stairs, and from that day forward I was abused mentally and physically. I was searching for a meaning to life at a very young age, and I knew I had a burning desire to find out about this man they called Jesus.

Easter Day of my thirteenth year I got myself as clean as possible and put on my new Easter outfit so I could go to church and hear about Jesus. I was so happy to hear about Him and I also knew my days of searching for the meaning of life were over. I knew then I wanted to live for Jesus, but I did not know about the pain and hurt I was to face when I got to my house. I arrived home about twelve noon and my father was waiting there with anger on his face. When I walked in he immediately began to beat me, so bad that when he finished I had blood coming from my mouth and nose, and my eyes were swollen shut. I ran around the corner, to some people I knew would give me the protection I needed, and they laced into my father for what he did.

I cursed Jesus and told Him I wanted nothing to do with Him or church ever again. This is the time when I rebelled against my father and all authority. The next twenty-four years I was total terror to anyone who crossed my path, and I did not care about any life, whether human or animal. I started setting fires, killing animals, stealing, and whatever else I could do to rebel. In 1967 I was arrested for inciting to riot, harassment, and mischievous conduct, but I got away scot free, so I continued my rampage.

I joined gangs such as the "Demons," "Savage Nomads," "Savage Skulls," and I had become an alcoholic by fourteen years old. In 1969 I was arrested for felony, assault and other related charges, and was sent to New Hampton State Training School for Boys for 18 months. That, as before, did not deter my attitude for authority. In 1976 suicide was on my mind, so I set my house on fire after getting drunk, and then climbed into bed in hopes to be burnt to death. I guess it was not on the cards for me to leave this world, for I was rescued, but I was charged with arson, and was sentenced to five years in prison.

In that time it was the big thing to go to the parole board as a Christian, so I went as a Born Again believer, and was paroled, but I left Jesus in prison. The Bible says that God is not mocked, and this is what I did. I mocked God so I could get out of prison, and it worked. However, today it is a different ball game. The Parole Board does not believe you when you say you are Born Again. All they want is programs and proof you have tried to help yourself to change. Well, God showed me I was not the big shot I thought I was.

May 1983, sentenced to serve 9-18 years in prison for crimes committed against society and for ruining the lives of others. In November 1983, God put me on my knees asking for forgiveness, and inviting Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Saviour. I was baptized in water, and three years later baptized in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of tongues. Oh, do not think it has been easy, for it is not. You do not change overnight. It is a long process, and many headaches. Yes, for all who do not know Jesus, He is in prison today, preparing a mighty army to go out into the world to win souls for Christ. I love the Lord and thank Him every day for rescuing me from the fires of Hell, and from hurting myself and others.

I am no saint, but I am a lot better off today than I would have been if I had not come to prison. I still have much to learn, but when I leave this prison I will leave with Jesus, and I will serve Him the rest of my life.

^{MATTHEW 27 v. 1} Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people came to the decision to put Jesus to death. ² They bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate, the governor. ³ When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders. ⁴ "I have sinned," he said, "for I have betrayed innocent blood." "What is that to us?" they replied. "That's your responsibility." ⁵So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. ⁶ The chief priests picked up the coins and said, "It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money." ⁷So they decided to use the money to buy the potter's field as a burial place for foreigners. ⁸ That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. ⁹Then what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: "They took the thirty silver coins, the price set on him by the people of Israel, ¹⁰ and they used them to buy the potter's field, as the Lord commanded me." ¹¹ Meanwhile Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, "Are you the king of the Jews?" "Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied. ¹² When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. ¹³ Then Pilate asked him, "Don't you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?" ¹⁴ But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge -- to the great amazement of the governor. ¹⁵ Now it was the governor's custom at the Feast to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd. ¹⁶ At that time they had a notorious prisoner, called Barabbas. ¹⁷ So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, "Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?" ¹⁸ For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him. ¹⁹ While Pilate was sitting on the judge's seat, his wife sent him this message: "Don't have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him." ²⁰ But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed. ²¹ "Which of the two do you want me to release to you?" asked the governor. "Barabbas," they answered. ²² "What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked. They all answered, "Crucify him!" ²³ "Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!" ²⁴ When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. "I am innocent of this man's blood," he said. "It is your responsibility!" ²⁵ All the people answered, "Let his blood be on us and on our children!" ²⁶ Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. ²⁷ Then the governor's soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. ²⁸ They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, ²⁹ and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. "Hail, king of the Jews!" they said. ³⁰ They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. ³¹ After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him. ³² As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. ³³ They came to a place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).³⁴ There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. ³⁵ When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. ³⁶ And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. ³⁷ Above his head they placed the written charge against him: THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS. ³⁸ Two robbers were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. ³⁹ Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads ⁴⁰ and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!" ⁴¹ In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. ⁴² "He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. ⁴³ He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, `I am the Son of God.' " <sup>44</sup> In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him. <sup>45</sup> From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. <sup>46</sup> About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" --which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" <sup>47</sup> When some of those standing there heard this, they said, "He's calling Elijah." <sup>48</sup> Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. <sup>49</sup> The rest said, "Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to save him." <sup>50</sup> And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. <sup>51</sup> At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. <sup>52</sup> The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. <sup>53</sup> They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. <sup>54</sup> When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, "Surely he was the Son of God!" <sup>55</sup> Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. <sup>56</sup> Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's sons. <sup>57</sup> As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus. <sup>58</sup> Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus' body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him. <sup>59</sup> Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, <sup>60</sup> and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. <sup>61</sup> Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting there opposite the tomb. <sup>62</sup> The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. <sup>63</sup> "Sir," they said, "we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, `After three days I will rise again.' ⁶⁴ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first." ⁶⁵ "Take a guard," Pilate answered. "Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how." ⁶⁶ So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.

^{MATTHEW 28 v. 1} After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. ² There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. ⁴ The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. ⁵ The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples: `He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." ⁸ So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹ Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." ¹¹ While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. ¹² When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, ¹³ telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.' ¹⁴ If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble." ¹⁵ So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day. ¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

For over 20 years I was a gangster and pimp!  I did some real ugly things I am not proud of... like shoot people for money.  I used to feel justified because they were bad guys just like me. I used to pimp, and justified that by saying the girls wanted to be pimped and were women of the streets anyhow.  I sold drugs and travelled far and wide with up to five girls in my stable. I had the world at my hands.  I fancied myself a movie star, and a gunslinger.  The devil really had a hold on me, and I on him...  I loved my lifestyle; every time I went to prison I was faced with the realities of all the wrong I was doing. You see, when one is in a 6x8 little cell and can't get out, all you do is look at the walls, or at the ceiling and THINK, THINK, and THINK some more. Then there comes some Bible-toting Christian telling me about Jesus!  I used to get so angry, until one time I went overboard.  There is a brother named Nathaniel, and he used to witness to me regularly, I mean, every time I looked, there he was with all this soft kind of love... inviting me to church.  I finally got so angry at him that one day I smacked the Bible out of his hand, and then I picked it off the floor and threw it across the cell block.  Nathaniel was shaking, and for a moment I thought he would swing at me.  He didn't.  He walked away.  Next week here he comes again!  I couldn't believe it; anyway, he heard me telling pimp stories so he used the magic words on me.  "Brother Victor,"... where he got this brother stuff I don't know, but he said, "This coming Sunday there are a group of sisters coming to the prison chapel" and he invited me to go.  Of course I would go - I was going to check out the cuties...maybe even catch one of 'em!

So Sunday came and I got shining and new like a brand spanking penny - looking like the star I was...  So I get to church and sure enough there were the pretty ladies up front, looking good and proper.  But when the prison Chaplain got on his preaching bag, he made the church go silent... All eyes on him.  The scripture was when the two angels came to see Abraham; then Abraham questioned God and asked if there be 50 righteous, would you destroy all?  God said NO, if there be 50 righteous I won't destroy all.  By the time he got to 10 righteous, I was feeling something.  He preached, and it seemed like he was preaching at me.  At one point the Holy Spirit came upon me, and praise God I was convicted.  When that preacher made the altar call, I raised my hand.  And then he invited all whose hands had come up to come to the front of the church.  I came with tears... I mean, I forgot girls, my gangster pride and reputation. I had big tears rolling down my face.  And all that day and the next I felt brand new.  I felt clean, different; I felt happy.  Praise God!  Praise God!  In prison, but free, like the blind man in John 9.  All I know is that I was blind, but praise God, now I see... I'M FREE!

It's been awhile now; I've got almost five years in prison, and eight months to go... Praise God.  I'm 45 years of age, bi-lingual, I'm Puerto Rican and on fire for God.  I'm a chef by trade, and am seeking God to see where He wants me to go what He wants me to do.  I'm single and sold out for Jesus!